Good Evening my brothers and sisters in Christ. I pray that you’ve spent the week living intentionally and with purpose. We have arrived at day 2 of 5 in “The Top 5 Things Yahweh Showed Me About Myself in 2018.” If you read yesterdays blog than you are already aware that for the last five days of 2018 I will be posting something each day that focuses on what I’ve learned about me this past year. Yesterday I talked about how I had no idea who I was. If you haven’t already done so. Please take a second to go and read that blog before this one as it will take you on a journey throughout all five posts. As always I pray that it causes to you examine yourself and prompts you to allow Yahweh to make adjustments where needed. Blessings.
As a little girl, I was taught very early that I had to be responsible. We didn’t grow up with a ton of money so we found ways to be resourceful. I recall a story that my Mother reminds me of from time to time. I believe I was ten or eleven when this happened. My Mother was single Mother of 3 children when I was that age. We lived in a town-home in Chicago Heights, IL. She worked all the time and would sometimes struggle to put food on the table. This one evening she found herself crying because there wasn’t a full meal for us to eat. She says I went up to her and told her not to cry because I made the family dinner. I grabbed her hand and walked her down the narrow hallway into the kitchen. She arrived at the table which I set with paper plates, napkins, and utensils. I even had my younger siblings sitting at the table waiting for her. On the menu were canned corn and hard white rice that I attempted to perfect. Lol. It immediately made her smile. Even at the age of ten, I believed in my own ability. This survival instinct to make something out of nothing followed me throughout my entire life.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Making something out of nothing is a great trait to have. I agree. It is a great trait to have when used in the right context. I, however, spent a large portion of my life misplacing my ability in areas that God should have had dominion. This year Yahweh showed me how much I believed in my own ability. There were times I worked two jobs to fund my selfish desires instead of paying my tithes and believing God to be my provider. There were times I found comfort in my sin in order to numb pain instead of believing God to be my comforter. There were times I hide my past instead of repenting for it and allowing God to free me from its bondage. There were times I secretly walked around with shame and guilt instead of casting my cares on God. There were times that I bent over backward to get man’s approval instead of giving God my attention so that He could show me my worth. There were times that I laid awake at night trying to come up with a solution instead of seeking God for His understanding and wisdom. There were times that I lied instead of trusting that God would recover what I lost in my truth. There were times I took pills and drank alcohol to stop the voices of the enemy in my mind instead of calling on The Prince of Peace. Even without result, I spent years placing my ability over God’s ability.
The Word of God Reminds Us Of God’s Ability,
Then Job replied:
“How you have helped the powerless!
How you have saved the arm that is feeble!
What advice you have offered to one without wisdom!
And what great insight you have displayed!
Who has helped you utter these words?
And whose spirit spoke from your mouth?
“The dead are in deep anguish,
those beneath the waters and all that live in them.
The realm of the dead is naked before God;
Destruction lies uncovered.
He spreads out the northern skies over empty space;
he suspends the earth over nothing.
He wraps up the waters in his clouds,
yet the clouds do not burst under their weight.
He covers the face of the full moon,
spreading his clouds over it.
He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters
for a boundary between light and darkness.
The pillars of the heavens quake,
aghast at his rebuke.
By his power he churned up the sea;
by his wisdom he cut Rahab to pieces.
By his breath the skies became fair;
his hand pierced the gliding serpent.
And these are but the outer fringe of his works;
how faint the whisper we hear of him!
Who then can understand the thunder of his power?”
With a God like this, why would we ever believe in our own ability vs His ability?
With four days left in 2018 I am grateful that Yahweh has shown me that I no longer believe in my own ability over His. Our relationship has grown and in that growth I am able to call on the one who dwells in the impossible. Yesterday he reminded me that in 2018 He showed me who I was. Today we reflected on the relinquishing of my own ability and adapting to God’s ability which has proven to be something this new creature in Christ loves more.